And things are...

....the same.  Which means, they are worse.  Sigh.  Nothing much has changed in our family's situation.  Ray and I are both desperately looking for work that will actually pay the bills.  Ray has also started what has turned out to be a slow and long process to re-enlist in the "Big Army." 

Today was probably one of the hardest days so far for me since we have moved back to our home.  We applied for state assistance until we can, hopefully SOON, get back on our feet.  And today we had a visit with a case manager for this process. 

Getting assistance beyond food stamps and occasional help on the utility bills is not an easy or "free" process.  The reason being that there is a lot of time and effort, on our part, to prove we are doing everything we can to eventually not need the assistance anymore.  Both Ray and I have to do 17.5 hours of "work" each week.  Right now, that consists of out and out job hunting or going into our case manager's office to do online job hunting or make calls.  It is all monitored very closely.  And all for $400ish extra dollars per month, coming out to about $3.40 or so per hour.  That won't even cover our mortgage. 

This is not a place I ever wanted to be or thought I would be.  I am educated.  I am intelligent.  I have tons of skills.  And yet, I am over qualified for most jobs I apply for or I am picked over because there were 50 other people applying for the same job. 

It is humbling.  And while I don't really want to publish this information or own up to how potentially bad our situation is going to get in 2 months when our savings is gone and my unemployment is gone....well....  it is what it is.  And I know I am not alone.  It is all a very hard pill to swallow. 

Today was a bad day.  But, we came home to a home.  We had good food to eat for dinner.  Our kids are healthy and happy.  It could be worse, and that is what I am afraid of. 

We are still doing what we can to make our money stretch longer and to make some money off all our extra "stuff."  Ebay is going ok.  Not great, but it is something.  And we have the yard sale of the century planned for August.  I promise to write more about that kind of stuff tomorrow.  But for tonight, I think I am going to brush my teeth, take some Benedryl, and see if my brain and emotions will turn off enough for me to rest.  After all, tomorrow I have "work" to do.