....the same. Which means, they are worse. Sigh. Nothing much has changed in our family's situation. Ray and I are both desperately looking for work that will actually pay the bills. Ray has also started what has turned out to be a slow and long process to re-enlist in the "Big Army."
Today was probably one of the hardest days so far for me since we have moved back to our home. We applied for state assistance until we can, hopefully SOON, get back on our feet. And today we had a visit with a case manager for this process.
Getting assistance beyond food stamps and occasional help on the utility bills is not an easy or "free" process. The reason being that there is a lot of time and effort, on our part, to prove we are doing everything we can to eventually not need the assistance anymore. Both Ray and I have to do 17.5 hours of "work" each week. Right now, that consists of out and out job hunting or going into our case manager's office to do online job hunting or make calls. It is all monitored very closely. And all for $400ish extra dollars per month, coming out to about $3.40 or so per hour. That won't even cover our mortgage.
This is not a place I ever wanted to be or thought I would be. I am educated. I am intelligent. I have tons of skills. And yet, I am over qualified for most jobs I apply for or I am picked over because there were 50 other people applying for the same job.
It is humbling. And while I don't really want to publish this information or own up to how potentially bad our situation is going to get in 2 months when our savings is gone and my unemployment is gone....well.... it is what it is. And I know I am not alone. It is all a very hard pill to swallow.
Today was a bad day. But, we came home to a home. We had good food to eat for dinner. Our kids are healthy and happy. It could be worse, and that is what I am afraid of.
We are still doing what we can to make our money stretch longer and to make some money off all our extra "stuff." Ebay is going ok. Not great, but it is something. And we have the yard sale of the century planned for August. I promise to write more about that kind of stuff tomorrow. But for tonight, I think I am going to brush my teeth, take some Benedryl, and see if my brain and emotions will turn off enough for me to rest. After all, tomorrow I have "work" to do.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Saturday, May 26, 2012
New Season, New Sharon
Picture this.....
Being pregnant can be pretty hard on a woman's body. Being out of shape and over weight for years also can be very hard on a body. Eating crap about half the time? You guessed it, hard on your body.
You know what? I am sick and tired of doing poor things to my body. I'm tired of being plus sized. I'm tired of feeling bad and having such a poor body image. I'm tired of feeling like I am not good enough and that I am not teaching my kids how to be healthy. So, it is time to do something about it.
Over the past couple of weeks, I have been making a point to do a lot of walking. I have also been tracking my eating and nutrition. Why? I wanted to prepare my body to start...AGAIN....a couch to 5k run program. Third times a charm they say. I am determined to do it and determined to not only finish, but to rock it. But, I was nervous. Last time I tried this, first time out, I injured my foot. It took over a year for it to get back to 100%. This is why I started with just some walking.
Well, today was D-day. Time to try that first podcast of week one in this 9 week program. I was not feeling confident. But, since it is a billion degrees outside and east coast kinda humid, I decided to run indoors at our fitness center's track. It is small, 20 laps to equal a mile. But, I didn't want to use a treadmill. Just me, the track and my i-pod.
The podcast was from running into shape and uses the run program from the cool running website. Week one is a 5 minute warm up, 8 intervals that include 60 second runs followed by 90 second recovery periods. And, I rocked it. My feet feel great. I did not get winded. I was not really all that tired at the end and after the 5 minute cool down. In total, I finished 32 laps in thoes 30 minutes. I finished off with 10ish minutes of core work and 5 minutes of stretching.
I'm shocked. I may feel different tomorrow. But holy cannoli batman, it felt GREAT! I'm so excited I don't know what to do with myself. I have been considering, and then chickening out of, signing up for the local 5k run in mid July. I will only be on week 7 at that point. But you know what? I think I'm gonna do it anyhow. And I'm gonna drag my husband along with me. ;-) Hmmmm...guess I should let him know, eh?
Being pregnant can be pretty hard on a woman's body. Being out of shape and over weight for years also can be very hard on a body. Eating crap about half the time? You guessed it, hard on your body.
You know what? I am sick and tired of doing poor things to my body. I'm tired of being plus sized. I'm tired of feeling bad and having such a poor body image. I'm tired of feeling like I am not good enough and that I am not teaching my kids how to be healthy. So, it is time to do something about it.
Over the past couple of weeks, I have been making a point to do a lot of walking. I have also been tracking my eating and nutrition. Why? I wanted to prepare my body to start...AGAIN....a couch to 5k run program. Third times a charm they say. I am determined to do it and determined to not only finish, but to rock it. But, I was nervous. Last time I tried this, first time out, I injured my foot. It took over a year for it to get back to 100%. This is why I started with just some walking.
Well, today was D-day. Time to try that first podcast of week one in this 9 week program. I was not feeling confident. But, since it is a billion degrees outside and east coast kinda humid, I decided to run indoors at our fitness center's track. It is small, 20 laps to equal a mile. But, I didn't want to use a treadmill. Just me, the track and my i-pod.
The podcast was from running into shape and uses the run program from the cool running website. Week one is a 5 minute warm up, 8 intervals that include 60 second runs followed by 90 second recovery periods. And, I rocked it. My feet feel great. I did not get winded. I was not really all that tired at the end and after the 5 minute cool down. In total, I finished 32 laps in thoes 30 minutes. I finished off with 10ish minutes of core work and 5 minutes of stretching.
I'm shocked. I may feel different tomorrow. But holy cannoli batman, it felt GREAT! I'm so excited I don't know what to do with myself. I have been considering, and then chickening out of, signing up for the local 5k run in mid July. I will only be on week 7 at that point. But you know what? I think I'm gonna do it anyhow. And I'm gonna drag my husband along with me. ;-) Hmmmm...guess I should let him know, eh?
Monday, May 21, 2012
Walgreens Trip
One of the other ways we are saving $$$ is through couponing. I call it not quite extreme because, well, the stuff on that TLC show is not a true representation. My normal goal is to save at minimum 50% on a shopping bill. But, that is for another blog.
Today, I went to Walgreens. I bought in two different orders:
- Two packages of Huggies Little Swimmers (on sale, walgreens and manufacturer coupons)
- Two packages of Thermacare Wraps (on sale, Register Rewards and manf coupon)
- One package of Tampax tampons (RR and manf coupon)
- Two Colgate toothbrushes (On sale, RR and manf coupon)
- Three candy bars that were on sale to use as fillers
I love Walgreens.........
May 20 Meal Plan
And so, the meal planning continues. We ended up with a lot of extra leftovers last week. So, a couple of items from last week are being moved to this week.
Margarita Chicken Quesadillas
Mango Chicken
Pork Shoulder Roast
Something with beef and peppers
Not very imaginative this week. My husband will be away for most of the month of June in a training course for the National Guard. Beyond milk and a few fresh produce purchases, I am going to do my very best to buy as little as possible and just cook mostly from our pantry. Should be interesting. Considering that both Ray and I are still job searching (a few potentials but nothing firm), we really need to spend as little money as possible. July with no severance and pay check will be here before we know it.
Are you planning to many anything super yummy this week? Need any ideas? Let's talk here and share some ideas.
Margarita Chicken Quesadillas
Mango Chicken
Pork Shoulder Roast
Something with beef and peppers
Not very imaginative this week. My husband will be away for most of the month of June in a training course for the National Guard. Beyond milk and a few fresh produce purchases, I am going to do my very best to buy as little as possible and just cook mostly from our pantry. Should be interesting. Considering that both Ray and I are still job searching (a few potentials but nothing firm), we really need to spend as little money as possible. July with no severance and pay check will be here before we know it.
Are you planning to many anything super yummy this week? Need any ideas? Let's talk here and share some ideas.
Monday, May 14, 2012
May 13 - Weekly Meal Plan
I mentioned back in a previous blog post how organization and some tools I learned early on in my marriage were going to help us during a time when money is beyond tight. Meal planning and efficient use of our home pantry (stockpile as some call it) will help us eat, and eat well, for at least 3 months.
Many people who do meal or menu planning for their families do weekly plans. Well, we live a hair shorter than an hour from the closest military commissary. Even with sales, shopping here with coupons can not be beat. But, it is a drive that is a bit longer than I would like to make weekly with the cost of gas. Instead, I make a list of 15-20 main course meals for the month to coinside with our commissary road trips and what I have in our pantry. I also take into consideration sales at our little local stores and what fresh produce should be in season and in abundance, ie.....cheap.
Considering one or two meals per month eating out or at someone's home and leftovers, we don't need much more than the 15-20 for the month. And we have standing options in the house all the time for breakfast and lunches as well as veggies and fillers for the main meals if needed.
For this week, here is my list of meals:
-Margarita Chicken Quesadillas
-Beef and Spinach Gyros
-Pineapple and Mango Chicken
-Thai Chicken
-Fried Round Steak
My moods and what I crave change all the time. So, as you will see, I do not do a list such as, on Monday, we will each Thai Chicken...and on and on. What I do have is a small dry erase board on our refridgerator. The top half is where I list my 4-5 main courses for the week. When I write them up there, I take out whatever meat we need and put it in the fridge to defrost. Then, as I cook it, I just wipe off that meal. When they are all gone as well as the leftovers, I start the process over again.
It is what works for us. Since all of these recipes are new to our family with the exception of the Thai Chicken, I'll let you know how they turn out. Let me know if you would like any of the recipes. I'll post them after I make them because honestly, I rarely ever follow a recipe 100%.
In case you are looking for cheap produce....around here right now we are getting mangos, pineapple, asparagus, sweet corn and strawberries dirt cheap. One good thing about having a deep freezer is that we can stock up on them, blanch and freeze them at dirt cheap prices for later use. And produce frozen from fresh packs a higher nutrional punch than anything you can buy that is canned.
Many people who do meal or menu planning for their families do weekly plans. Well, we live a hair shorter than an hour from the closest military commissary. Even with sales, shopping here with coupons can not be beat. But, it is a drive that is a bit longer than I would like to make weekly with the cost of gas. Instead, I make a list of 15-20 main course meals for the month to coinside with our commissary road trips and what I have in our pantry. I also take into consideration sales at our little local stores and what fresh produce should be in season and in abundance, ie.....cheap.
Considering one or two meals per month eating out or at someone's home and leftovers, we don't need much more than the 15-20 for the month. And we have standing options in the house all the time for breakfast and lunches as well as veggies and fillers for the main meals if needed.
For this week, here is my list of meals:
-Margarita Chicken Quesadillas
-Beef and Spinach Gyros
-Pineapple and Mango Chicken
-Thai Chicken
-Fried Round Steak
My moods and what I crave change all the time. So, as you will see, I do not do a list such as, on Monday, we will each Thai Chicken...and on and on. What I do have is a small dry erase board on our refridgerator. The top half is where I list my 4-5 main courses for the week. When I write them up there, I take out whatever meat we need and put it in the fridge to defrost. Then, as I cook it, I just wipe off that meal. When they are all gone as well as the leftovers, I start the process over again.
It is what works for us. Since all of these recipes are new to our family with the exception of the Thai Chicken, I'll let you know how they turn out. Let me know if you would like any of the recipes. I'll post them after I make them because honestly, I rarely ever follow a recipe 100%.
In case you are looking for cheap produce....around here right now we are getting mangos, pineapple, asparagus, sweet corn and strawberries dirt cheap. One good thing about having a deep freezer is that we can stock up on them, blanch and freeze them at dirt cheap prices for later use. And produce frozen from fresh packs a higher nutrional punch than anything you can buy that is canned.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
First Things First....
Picture this, and believe it or not, there is one good thing about losing a job during this Great Recession we find ourselves in....extended unemployment.
Just after we found out I was pregnant with our first child, I was let go due to downsizing and lower sales from my job. It really was not that big of a deal because both Ray and I had decided that I was going to be a stay at home mom when we had children. In fact, when we bought our home, we based everything budget wise off of only his salary. My salary was bonus. But, I still wanted to be working up until the baby came, and I applied for and started receiving unemployment benefits as I looked for a job to hold us over.
I never found that job, and baby Derrek arrived. So, I called the local unemployment office and told them, as they requested we do, that I was no longer going to be taking the benefit. The lady asked me why. I told her that I had no intention of working at this time and that it would, in effect, be stealing. She spent 15 minutes on the phone with me trying to talk me out of it and to take the money the government was offering.
Huh? How was that possible? What would be the benefit of taking advantage of the system? What's more, is that some family and friends tried to convince me of the same thing. But, I stuck to my guns and the unemployment checks stopped coming, even when many thought we were nuts.
Now, every state and their unemployment laws are different. If all goes well, I should hopefully be eligible for an additional 20 weeks, then 14 more on top of that by reopening my old unemployment case. The laws are funky and different now, and I will only collect while we are job searching. If Ray finds a good job and I can continue to stay at home or I end up finding a great job, we will obviously end those benefits again.
I don't normally do what other people tell me to. Especially when I find a moral issue with it in the first place. Taking the unemployment benefits when I knew very well I was not really looking for a job did not sit well with me, so I did not do it even though the "free" money was VERY tempting. And, I am glad we made that choice. If all goes well, the benefits will kick in and help us get through a period when, frankly, the only income will be Ray's monthly weekend drill pay. Money that would no longer be available to us had I continued to take it before.
Doing the right thing really does make a difference. Sometimes, the difference between feeding your family or losing your home and not. So, let's pray I hear back from unemployment next week and that we can start putting that money away in savings for July when Ray will no longer be getting severance and his National Guard course will be over. And that Ray will be able to secure a great job that will both meet our financial needs AND that he will love.
Just after we found out I was pregnant with our first child, I was let go due to downsizing and lower sales from my job. It really was not that big of a deal because both Ray and I had decided that I was going to be a stay at home mom when we had children. In fact, when we bought our home, we based everything budget wise off of only his salary. My salary was bonus. But, I still wanted to be working up until the baby came, and I applied for and started receiving unemployment benefits as I looked for a job to hold us over.
I never found that job, and baby Derrek arrived. So, I called the local unemployment office and told them, as they requested we do, that I was no longer going to be taking the benefit. The lady asked me why. I told her that I had no intention of working at this time and that it would, in effect, be stealing. She spent 15 minutes on the phone with me trying to talk me out of it and to take the money the government was offering.
Huh? How was that possible? What would be the benefit of taking advantage of the system? What's more, is that some family and friends tried to convince me of the same thing. But, I stuck to my guns and the unemployment checks stopped coming, even when many thought we were nuts.
Now, every state and their unemployment laws are different. If all goes well, I should hopefully be eligible for an additional 20 weeks, then 14 more on top of that by reopening my old unemployment case. The laws are funky and different now, and I will only collect while we are job searching. If Ray finds a good job and I can continue to stay at home or I end up finding a great job, we will obviously end those benefits again.
I don't normally do what other people tell me to. Especially when I find a moral issue with it in the first place. Taking the unemployment benefits when I knew very well I was not really looking for a job did not sit well with me, so I did not do it even though the "free" money was VERY tempting. And, I am glad we made that choice. If all goes well, the benefits will kick in and help us get through a period when, frankly, the only income will be Ray's monthly weekend drill pay. Money that would no longer be available to us had I continued to take it before.
Doing the right thing really does make a difference. Sometimes, the difference between feeding your family or losing your home and not. So, let's pray I hear back from unemployment next week and that we can start putting that money away in savings for July when Ray will no longer be getting severance and his National Guard course will be over. And that Ray will be able to secure a great job that will both meet our financial needs AND that he will love.
The Truth Shall Set Us Free...
Picture this..... Your husband is in his dream job. There are some challenges, as it is a challenging job. And it has some surprise politics involved that you would not normally consider in this line of work. But, it is what it is. Our family has relocated almost 2 hours away for this job. Then, two weeks to the day that your beautiful baby girl was born (adding to the handsome toddler boy you already have), your husband is let go from his job.
No big deal. Well, having to move so soon after having a baby sucks. Making this the second move in 6ish months. And you are moving back into the house you own, but that is smaller and a totally different set up than the one you had been living in. Sigh.... At least hubs should be able to get his previous job back. Not a job he loves. Not a job he normally even likes. But yet, a job he is good at and that will pay the bills. And we have 2 weeks severance and a month long National Guard course he is going to be taking. There is no reason to panic.
And here we are. Back in our home, with two children to raise and our home and property that needs some work. Ray tried to get his job back at the prison, but will not be eligible now until November some time. Sigh....how did this happen? How are we going to survive? Am I going to have to go back to work? If so, how are we going to handle the cost of childcare?
Lots of questions still yet to be answered. We are past that emotional panic reaction and both Ray and I are in action mode. He is furiously job searching at the moment, as am I. I am taking stock of the state of our home food pantry and trying to find the best way to sell a lot of the stuff we no longer need. Our junk. Our duplicates. We are also trying to get a handle on this crazy yard. Seriously....NEVER buy a house that has no real lawn, just garden. It is more than a full time job just to weed. And covering it in river rock in no way will help the next owners replace a majority of that garden with grass. Speaking of which, anyone want some landscaping rock? We have three varieties for your rock choosing pleasure.
I am not writing about this season of our life because we want charity or pity. (Although, prayers and good thoughts would be much appreciated) I am writing this for several other reasons however:
1. To help me get all these ideas in my brain in order and down on virtual paper. Organization is the key.
2. To share with other's what has and has not worked for us while trying to find jobs and hopefully still be able to pay our bills.
3. To perhaps get some advice from others who have been there and done that, as well as provide this information to other people who may be going through a similar financial situation.
Sharing this information with the public is not easy. I still have some internal melt down moments; times of panic when I just don't know how we are gonna make it. And yet, I am moved to action. If you like, you are welcome, through this blog here, to come along on this journey with us.
God is in control. My brain knows that. But God is not going to drop a job in our laps. God is not going to transfer money into our checking account so we don't lose our house. God is not going to pull up in a 2nd car for our family. Nor fill the gas tank on the car we already have. What God has done however is given us a lot of tools and resources to help us make it through this, hopefully short, challenge for our family. So while my posts may seem a bit disjointed and have no real theme to them as a whole, they are all from this point on to the foreseeable future about all the ways we are getting it done.
No big deal. Well, having to move so soon after having a baby sucks. Making this the second move in 6ish months. And you are moving back into the house you own, but that is smaller and a totally different set up than the one you had been living in. Sigh.... At least hubs should be able to get his previous job back. Not a job he loves. Not a job he normally even likes. But yet, a job he is good at and that will pay the bills. And we have 2 weeks severance and a month long National Guard course he is going to be taking. There is no reason to panic.
And here we are. Back in our home, with two children to raise and our home and property that needs some work. Ray tried to get his job back at the prison, but will not be eligible now until November some time. Sigh....how did this happen? How are we going to survive? Am I going to have to go back to work? If so, how are we going to handle the cost of childcare?
Lots of questions still yet to be answered. We are past that emotional panic reaction and both Ray and I are in action mode. He is furiously job searching at the moment, as am I. I am taking stock of the state of our home food pantry and trying to find the best way to sell a lot of the stuff we no longer need. Our junk. Our duplicates. We are also trying to get a handle on this crazy yard. Seriously....NEVER buy a house that has no real lawn, just garden. It is more than a full time job just to weed. And covering it in river rock in no way will help the next owners replace a majority of that garden with grass. Speaking of which, anyone want some landscaping rock? We have three varieties for your rock choosing pleasure.
I am not writing about this season of our life because we want charity or pity. (Although, prayers and good thoughts would be much appreciated) I am writing this for several other reasons however:
1. To help me get all these ideas in my brain in order and down on virtual paper. Organization is the key.
2. To share with other's what has and has not worked for us while trying to find jobs and hopefully still be able to pay our bills.
3. To perhaps get some advice from others who have been there and done that, as well as provide this information to other people who may be going through a similar financial situation.
Sharing this information with the public is not easy. I still have some internal melt down moments; times of panic when I just don't know how we are gonna make it. And yet, I am moved to action. If you like, you are welcome, through this blog here, to come along on this journey with us.
God is in control. My brain knows that. But God is not going to drop a job in our laps. God is not going to transfer money into our checking account so we don't lose our house. God is not going to pull up in a 2nd car for our family. Nor fill the gas tank on the car we already have. What God has done however is given us a lot of tools and resources to help us make it through this, hopefully short, challenge for our family. So while my posts may seem a bit disjointed and have no real theme to them as a whole, they are all from this point on to the foreseeable future about all the ways we are getting it done.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Cloth Diapering The Infant
I talked before about our plans for cloth diapering our newborn. Well, that beautiful baby girl is now 9 1/2 weeks old. We started off with disposables. Mostly because they were easy and my mom was there to help. She does not do cloth diapers. ;-) They also proved to be helpful when my husband lost his job and we had to move. Laundering cloth diapers would have just added to the headache and stress of that moment.
But now, we are back in our home and are cloth diapering her most of the time. I have tried everything I bought and here are our experiences up to this point.
Fitteds....
The ease of using fitted diapers is wonderful. They go on in a flash and we are back to doing something else much more exciting than diaper changes. However, they take FOREVER to dry in the dryer. In fact, I normally have to hang them for a while after being in the dryer to finish them off. That is annoying. Since we plan to start hanging out the diapers to dry in the back yard, I can imagine it is going to be an all day deal to get them dry. At least it won't add to my electric bill.
Prefolds....
I really was not looking forward to using them. But, I must admit that once I got the hang of putting them on and securing them with the snappi's, They are my favorite. So easy, so simple. I do like the hemp ones a bit better than the cotton ones for laundering. Because of how they are made, they are MUCH easier and faster to dry. They also, after time, are more absorbent than cotton.
However, while the unbleached cotton prefolds take longer to dry that center section, for some reason I just like them better. Chalk it up to preference, but the cotton prefolds are the first I reach for when it is time for changing her.
Now, we had some Gerber bleached cotton prefolds and some of the non-bleached cotton prefolds. The non-bleached ones are much softer, much more absorbent and dry faster than the bleached ones.
Flats...
I can't lie, we have primarily used these for burp cloths. However, since I really hate drying the fitteds and the prefolds, I need to really practice my folds on the flats. If we can figure them out, not only will they be the cheapest option, they will dry in a flash since they are a single layer of cotton.
There is one pocket diaper we have been able to use so far. It is one that was given to us as a gift. I believe it is from Thirsties. It has both a hemp and a cotton insert that snap together. It is also a size one. I really like this one and it just reminds me that I long for the day my baby girl chunks up enough that we can use primarily pocket diapers on her. They are still, by far, my favorite overall.
So, wish me luck figuring out those flats. I'll update you once we have mastered the art of flat folding.
But now, we are back in our home and are cloth diapering her most of the time. I have tried everything I bought and here are our experiences up to this point.
Fitteds....
The ease of using fitted diapers is wonderful. They go on in a flash and we are back to doing something else much more exciting than diaper changes. However, they take FOREVER to dry in the dryer. In fact, I normally have to hang them for a while after being in the dryer to finish them off. That is annoying. Since we plan to start hanging out the diapers to dry in the back yard, I can imagine it is going to be an all day deal to get them dry. At least it won't add to my electric bill.
Prefolds....
I really was not looking forward to using them. But, I must admit that once I got the hang of putting them on and securing them with the snappi's, They are my favorite. So easy, so simple. I do like the hemp ones a bit better than the cotton ones for laundering. Because of how they are made, they are MUCH easier and faster to dry. They also, after time, are more absorbent than cotton.
However, while the unbleached cotton prefolds take longer to dry that center section, for some reason I just like them better. Chalk it up to preference, but the cotton prefolds are the first I reach for when it is time for changing her.
Now, we had some Gerber bleached cotton prefolds and some of the non-bleached cotton prefolds. The non-bleached ones are much softer, much more absorbent and dry faster than the bleached ones.
Flats...
I can't lie, we have primarily used these for burp cloths. However, since I really hate drying the fitteds and the prefolds, I need to really practice my folds on the flats. If we can figure them out, not only will they be the cheapest option, they will dry in a flash since they are a single layer of cotton.
There is one pocket diaper we have been able to use so far. It is one that was given to us as a gift. I believe it is from Thirsties. It has both a hemp and a cotton insert that snap together. It is also a size one. I really like this one and it just reminds me that I long for the day my baby girl chunks up enough that we can use primarily pocket diapers on her. They are still, by far, my favorite overall.
So, wish me luck figuring out those flats. I'll update you once we have mastered the art of flat folding.
Morgan's Birth Story, Part III
So, you have by this time probably read parts one and two of Morgan's birth story. The first part describing why I was so bent about having a VBAC instead of another cesarean and the second the actual story of labor and delivery with Morgan. Here in part three, my goal is to compare the two births and experiences since so many have asked, "was all the stress and process of the VBAC worth it?"
The simple answer is, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The recovery from the c-section was hard. It seemed like it took forever for me to be able to do certain things. It made breastfeeding harder. The memory of the surgery itself still frightens me. Did we end up with a healthy baby and mommy? Yes. But when you take into consideration all that happened before, during and after that experience, It was by far the hardest of the two deliveries.
That said, let me talk a bit about the VBAC. The perineum support or stretching provided by the nurse and then my doctor HURT. At times, it hurt more than the pain I felt during the c-section. Same when the forceps were inserted and placed in the proper spot around my child's 14 inch head. It's no wonder I had 3rd degree and bilateral tearing. Morgan's actual birth, however, was not painful at all. I never felt that ring of fire. I suppose that is because of the epidural. But oh my heavens, did I feel the pressure! The contractions were very intense and sometimes painful, especially after the doctor broke my water. But it was not like any other pain I have ever experienced in my life.
Many women told me contractions were normally very painful in active labor, especially during transition. But it was not a normal kind of pain and your body registers it different. I have to agree. When allowed to move with the contractions, vocalize and try different ways to handle them, they are not so bad. Pain with a purpose. And what a wonderful purpose it is.
So yes, even considering the tearing and normal backache/pain from the epidural, the VBAC was worth it. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo worth it to me! There is just no comparison regarding the recoveries. Ray and I at this time still hope to add at least one more biological child to the family. This time though, I don't feel fear when thinking about the labor and delivery. I am looking forward to it! I know that sounds odd to many, and that is ok. I'm used to not being "normal" regarding these subjects. Hopefully, Nebraska laws will change by the time we are expecting again and we can legally consider a midwife assisted home birth. I would very VERY much like to try a fully natural birth and honestly, I don't see that as an option in our local hospitals. Especially considering I am still a VBAC patient.
Time will tell I suppose.
The simple answer is, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The recovery from the c-section was hard. It seemed like it took forever for me to be able to do certain things. It made breastfeeding harder. The memory of the surgery itself still frightens me. Did we end up with a healthy baby and mommy? Yes. But when you take into consideration all that happened before, during and after that experience, It was by far the hardest of the two deliveries.
That said, let me talk a bit about the VBAC. The perineum support or stretching provided by the nurse and then my doctor HURT. At times, it hurt more than the pain I felt during the c-section. Same when the forceps were inserted and placed in the proper spot around my child's 14 inch head. It's no wonder I had 3rd degree and bilateral tearing. Morgan's actual birth, however, was not painful at all. I never felt that ring of fire. I suppose that is because of the epidural. But oh my heavens, did I feel the pressure! The contractions were very intense and sometimes painful, especially after the doctor broke my water. But it was not like any other pain I have ever experienced in my life.
Many women told me contractions were normally very painful in active labor, especially during transition. But it was not a normal kind of pain and your body registers it different. I have to agree. When allowed to move with the contractions, vocalize and try different ways to handle them, they are not so bad. Pain with a purpose. And what a wonderful purpose it is.
So yes, even considering the tearing and normal backache/pain from the epidural, the VBAC was worth it. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo worth it to me! There is just no comparison regarding the recoveries. Ray and I at this time still hope to add at least one more biological child to the family. This time though, I don't feel fear when thinking about the labor and delivery. I am looking forward to it! I know that sounds odd to many, and that is ok. I'm used to not being "normal" regarding these subjects. Hopefully, Nebraska laws will change by the time we are expecting again and we can legally consider a midwife assisted home birth. I would very VERY much like to try a fully natural birth and honestly, I don't see that as an option in our local hospitals. Especially considering I am still a VBAC patient.
Time will tell I suppose.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Arbor Day 2012
Picture This.....you are touring the historical Arbor Day Lodge with your family when you step into the carriage house. What is the first thing you see? An old stagecoach.
WOW!!! I can not pretend that somewhere deep down in my DNA is gypsy blood. I love exploring new places, seeing new things and finding the little interesting things that most people drive past or never notice. And when I saw this stage coach, my blood started flowing just a bit faster.
Who rode in there? Where did they go? Did it see Native Americans in their native lands? Did it see any of the civil war? How many roads did it drive down? How many horses or ox pulled it? What were the stories of all those people who darkened it's step during it's life as a coach. What kind of really boring or really cool letters did it carry in the mail? Baggage?
Oh, the stories it could tell if it could talk. And now, I'm so very ready for one of those kinds of road trips where you just drive down a road, in a place you have never been, and find what you can find. Do you ever get that itch for an adventure?
George W. Doneghy's poem: Stage Coach
No matter what the weather was, in good old stage coach days,
The driver with his ruddy face and spanking team of bays
Would spin along the turnpike road, o'er level stretch and hill,
That wound away from "Idleburg" to classic Nicholasville.
The depths beneath his seat were filled with leathern sacks of mail,
And all the coach's top at times was crowded to the rail
With trunks, valises, packages, and bundles by the score,
That must have weighed, it seemed to me, five thousand pounds or more.
And strapped within the bulging boot, that hung far out behind,
Was added weight enough to make a team of oxen blind;
And counting all the passengers that filled the coach within,
The load those horses had to drag--I thought it was a sin!
How proud of them the driver was! And often he would brag
That they could pull a heavier load and never balk or flag;
If all the road was ankle-deep in miry, sticky mud,
That was the time his team would show its metal and its blood.
The "ribbons" then he'd gather up, and give his whip a crack,
And any team in front of him had better clear the track;
He seemed to own the turnpike road, and kept the right of way
Unto himself as jealously as bloomers do to-day.
By wood and field he wound along, and by the river's bank,
And when he reached the covered bridge the hoof-beats on the plank
Were echoed from the cliffs around and from the vale below;
And going up the hill beyond he'd let 'em walk and blow.
Then urged into a trot again around the curves they spun
Till hove in sight the manor-house of Camp Dick Robinson;
And on beyond where Nelson lay, the bravest of the brave,
Till Nicholasville at last was reached, to them the reins he gave.
And when the sun was hanging low and slanting shadows fell,
Along the streets of "Idleburg" that old familiar yell
Would greet the ears of villagers from small boys as they ran
With open mouths and lusty lungs a-shouting "Here comes Sam!"
Ah me! The old stage coach, abandoned now, stands in the stable lot,
A victim to the tooth of rust, and slow decay and rot;
Its whole-souled driver years ago forever passed away,
And crumbled now to dust the hand that drove each gallant bay!
WOW!!! I can not pretend that somewhere deep down in my DNA is gypsy blood. I love exploring new places, seeing new things and finding the little interesting things that most people drive past or never notice. And when I saw this stage coach, my blood started flowing just a bit faster.
Who rode in there? Where did they go? Did it see Native Americans in their native lands? Did it see any of the civil war? How many roads did it drive down? How many horses or ox pulled it? What were the stories of all those people who darkened it's step during it's life as a coach. What kind of really boring or really cool letters did it carry in the mail? Baggage?
Oh, the stories it could tell if it could talk. And now, I'm so very ready for one of those kinds of road trips where you just drive down a road, in a place you have never been, and find what you can find. Do you ever get that itch for an adventure?
George W. Doneghy's poem: Stage Coach
No matter what the weather was, in good old stage coach days,
The driver with his ruddy face and spanking team of bays
Would spin along the turnpike road, o'er level stretch and hill,
That wound away from "Idleburg" to classic Nicholasville.
The depths beneath his seat were filled with leathern sacks of mail,
And all the coach's top at times was crowded to the rail
With trunks, valises, packages, and bundles by the score,
That must have weighed, it seemed to me, five thousand pounds or more.
And strapped within the bulging boot, that hung far out behind,
Was added weight enough to make a team of oxen blind;
And counting all the passengers that filled the coach within,
The load those horses had to drag--I thought it was a sin!
How proud of them the driver was! And often he would brag
That they could pull a heavier load and never balk or flag;
If all the road was ankle-deep in miry, sticky mud,
That was the time his team would show its metal and its blood.
The "ribbons" then he'd gather up, and give his whip a crack,
And any team in front of him had better clear the track;
He seemed to own the turnpike road, and kept the right of way
Unto himself as jealously as bloomers do to-day.
By wood and field he wound along, and by the river's bank,
And when he reached the covered bridge the hoof-beats on the plank
Were echoed from the cliffs around and from the vale below;
And going up the hill beyond he'd let 'em walk and blow.
Then urged into a trot again around the curves they spun
Till hove in sight the manor-house of Camp Dick Robinson;
And on beyond where Nelson lay, the bravest of the brave,
Till Nicholasville at last was reached, to them the reins he gave.
And when the sun was hanging low and slanting shadows fell,
Along the streets of "Idleburg" that old familiar yell
Would greet the ears of villagers from small boys as they ran
With open mouths and lusty lungs a-shouting "Here comes Sam!"
Ah me! The old stage coach, abandoned now, stands in the stable lot,
A victim to the tooth of rust, and slow decay and rot;
Its whole-souled driver years ago forever passed away,
And crumbled now to dust the hand that drove each gallant bay!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Morgan's Birth Story - Part 2
***Warning***
No warning this time unless you are squeamish about medical stuff. This is in no way a birth horror story. ;-)
Picture this..... You gave birth to your first child at 37 weeks and you fully expect to give birth around that time with your 2nd child. Contractions start. They are lasting a minute in length and are about 5ish minutes apart. They are not intense, but you notice them and they meet the criteria your doctor told you about regarding when to get to the hospital. But your mom isn't in town yet. She will be coming in less than a week and is supposed to hang with the toddler and pup when you are in the hospital. Crap! Well, go to sleep and see what happens.
The contractions stop, but mom freaks out and flies in 4 days early anyhow. Family and friends are all on stitches waiting for your labor to kick in full force. Week 37 passes....and 38....then comes week 39. This is NOT how you planned things to go. You have tried everything short of taking Castor oil to get things rolling. Contractions start, and then stop. Start, and stop. And they are doing nothing.
At my 39 week OB appointment, the decision to induce on March 5th, the day after my due date, was made. I was not effacing or dilating. My body seemed to be asleep. The pressure was on. I had convinced myself at this point that if we actually did end up inducing, it would not work and I would end up with a c-section anyhow. Discouraged, I lamented, AGAIN, to my long distance doula friend.
Now, a month prior she told me about a web site called spinningbabies. She was convinced that I COULD have a very successful VBAC but thought the reason labor would not get into full gear or the baby was still high and not engaging was that the baby's head was not tucked properly and getting stuck on my pelvic bone. I followed some things the site said including getting on all 4's a lot and doing work on the birthing ball. Both she and the web site suggested belly lifts as well. I read how to do it and why it could work, but I just did not buy it at the time and wrote it off.
As my 39th week of pregnancy was coming to a close, on the evening of Saturday, March 3rd, I lamented to her again. She got a tad snippy with me about not doing the spinning babies stuff. Well, I had tried, just not the belly lifts and I needed a reality check. At that point though, less than 48 hours away from an induction, what could it hurt? So, I pulled Ray out of his office as he was putting the final touches on his church services and sermon for the next morning to help me.
The belly lifts were not comfortable and I was pretty sore afterwards. I didn't even bother with a bath to help relax me. Nothing else had worked up to this point, so why would the stupid belly lifts do anything?
At 1:45am, Sunday, March 4th, (my due date) I was waken up by some major cramping. This was nothing new. Anyone who has been pregnant knows how uncomfortable sleeping can get, especially as the end draws near. This was not the first time I had been waken by contractions, so I told myself they meant nothing. But, I was not able to go back to sleep. What started as an almost constant cramping turned into measurable, and intense contractions. It was not until I absolutely knew I could not keep lying down that I woke Ray and told him we needed to start timing these. This was at about 2:30am. By 3:00, we were packing for the hospital and Ray was making arraignments for his back up to handle church services later that morning. Could this really be it? I was still a skeptic.
But the contractions continued and started becoming more intense and painful during the hour long drive to the hospital. This had to be real, but I was still hedging my excitement until I was checked out by the nurse. By the time we got there and I was first checked, around 4am at this point, I was 90% effaced and 3cm dilated. Contractions were textbook. Baby looked great. WOO HOO!!!!!!!! Bring on the baby!
I refused an IV at first, but agreed to a saline lock. Then they allowed me to labor in the tub a while. This was actually a big deal because I was a dangerous VBAC patient who's uterus could rupture killing me and the baby at any moment. (Cue sarcasm. That is how my doctor and the hospital saw things, but I knew better) The water and jets helped at first. But after 20 or so minutes, the jets annoyed me and I realized I was gonna have to change positions. Contractions were still intensifying and getting closer together. This was a good pain and a good sign. I asked the nurse what it was going to feel like or how I would know when to start pushing. She said, it will feel like your ass is going to either explode or fall off. I laughed. Little did I know... ;-)
Then, my OB comes in. He wants to break my water. I rebel at first but realize he could end this trial to VBAC at any time. When your water is broken or breaks, you are pretty much put on a timer. If baby is not born by a certain time, c-section. And, there is no going home if labor stops. Oh, and there is an increased chance of infection. And, of course, the contractions become much more intense and painful. But, as he put it, I had to play ball and I agreed. But I was exhausted and I knew if I was not able to rest, I was not going to have the umpf to push this baby out. I also requested an epidural because rest was not going to happen if the contractions were going to hurt more than they already did.
Doctor broke my water around 6ish in the morning. Now apparently, you need to have one bag of IV fluid in you before they will do the epidural. So she put me on the fastest drip she could to get that fluid in me. During that time, I tried to sit on the birthing ball. That did not help at all. Tried to get on hands and knees. That was also a big fat failure. Counter pressure and massages made it worse. The labor was progressing and I was starting to not handle the pain very well.
I was petrified of another epidural, but my oh my, when it went in just after 8 am, I wanted to marry that anesthesiologist. By this time I was fully effaced and around 5 cm. Ray needed to run to the store for a while and I needed to sleep. The nurse had me turn on my left side while Ray was out. She came back about 35 minutes later and checked me. I was at 6 cm. Doc came in about 5 minutes later and checked me again. I was at 7cm. WHERE IS MY HUSBAND???? They told me not to panic but to give him a call and tell him to head back when he can. I was starting to feel that pressure and knew it was not going to be long.
Now, up until this point, my doctor was STILL convinced that this was going to end in a c-section. He had the staff ready to take me to the OR at a moment's notice. That was, until this cervical check. The look on his face was so very funny. He was amazed and said, "Ok Sharon. I'm on board now. Let's get this thing done." Shew! Nancy Negative has left the building! My L & D nurse knew I was determined to have a VBAC and that my OB did not think it was going to happen. We had been joking the whole time about proving him wrong. Well, it looked like I was going to do just that. You NEVER tell a woman of Irish descent that she can't do something. Sheesh Doc.
Ray stumbles in and I am at 8 cm at 11:25 am. And the nurse was right. While I was not feeling the worst of the contractions, Oh my heavens...the pressure! My ass DID feel like it was going to fall off. She put me back on my side. Less than 15 minutes later, I just can not take the pressure anymore. I have to push and I don't care if there was cervix left. She checked me and.....TA DA....I am at 10 cm and ready to push.
Since baby was a tad bit high, they let me rest sitting up for a hair over 30 minutes. Then I started pushing with the nurse. Purple pushing on my back. When they start seeing the baby's head, full of dark hair, they call in my doctor. The pushing did not hurt. I didn't even feel that ring of fire they all talk about. What did hurt was all the "perineal support" they were giving me between pushes. But, I sucked it up because I knew it was for my own good.
Seriously? Pushing is hard work. Really hard. Like running a marathon hard work. And, I was getting tired. I was not opening my eyes and was having trouble catching my breath between contractions. When I did open my eyes after about 35 minutes of pushing, my doctor in a very calm and caring voice said he would like to use forceps to go ahead and get the baby out. He did not doubt that I could push the baby out, but saw I was getting tired and wanted to give me that option. I asked him how long it would take. He said baby would be out during the next contraction. I said do it.
He did not lie. It took a minute or two to get the forceps inserted and around the baby's head. Next contraction, he actually had to use very little pressure to help ease baby out due to my pushing along with it. I tore, but didn't feel it. 3rd degree and bilateral tears to be specific. I pushed baby out at such a force that her umbilical cord actually tore and shot blood across the room. No harm, they just had to clamp it right away, all was well. And just like her brother, she really did have a head full of hair and after that initial "what the hell just happened" cry, she was content and alert.
Placenta was delivered 3 minutes after the baby, no pitocin or help required. Doc stitched me up and finally, it was over. And, I am not exaggerating, the nurses, surgical assistant and doctor all did a VBAC celebratory cheer and dance. Everyone was excited and happy. I was smug with that "I told you so" attitude and my doctor was amazed. And humble. I ordered some food and Ray, myself and our newest addition were left alone to bond. It was a good day.
Happy Birthday Baby Morgan.
8lbs, 7oz
20 1/4 inches long
14 inch head
Perfect in every way.....
No warning this time unless you are squeamish about medical stuff. This is in no way a birth horror story. ;-)
Picture this..... You gave birth to your first child at 37 weeks and you fully expect to give birth around that time with your 2nd child. Contractions start. They are lasting a minute in length and are about 5ish minutes apart. They are not intense, but you notice them and they meet the criteria your doctor told you about regarding when to get to the hospital. But your mom isn't in town yet. She will be coming in less than a week and is supposed to hang with the toddler and pup when you are in the hospital. Crap! Well, go to sleep and see what happens.
The contractions stop, but mom freaks out and flies in 4 days early anyhow. Family and friends are all on stitches waiting for your labor to kick in full force. Week 37 passes....and 38....then comes week 39. This is NOT how you planned things to go. You have tried everything short of taking Castor oil to get things rolling. Contractions start, and then stop. Start, and stop. And they are doing nothing.
At my 39 week OB appointment, the decision to induce on March 5th, the day after my due date, was made. I was not effacing or dilating. My body seemed to be asleep. The pressure was on. I had convinced myself at this point that if we actually did end up inducing, it would not work and I would end up with a c-section anyhow. Discouraged, I lamented, AGAIN, to my long distance doula friend.
Now, a month prior she told me about a web site called spinningbabies. She was convinced that I COULD have a very successful VBAC but thought the reason labor would not get into full gear or the baby was still high and not engaging was that the baby's head was not tucked properly and getting stuck on my pelvic bone. I followed some things the site said including getting on all 4's a lot and doing work on the birthing ball. Both she and the web site suggested belly lifts as well. I read how to do it and why it could work, but I just did not buy it at the time and wrote it off.
As my 39th week of pregnancy was coming to a close, on the evening of Saturday, March 3rd, I lamented to her again. She got a tad snippy with me about not doing the spinning babies stuff. Well, I had tried, just not the belly lifts and I needed a reality check. At that point though, less than 48 hours away from an induction, what could it hurt? So, I pulled Ray out of his office as he was putting the final touches on his church services and sermon for the next morning to help me.
The belly lifts were not comfortable and I was pretty sore afterwards. I didn't even bother with a bath to help relax me. Nothing else had worked up to this point, so why would the stupid belly lifts do anything?
At 1:45am, Sunday, March 4th, (my due date) I was waken up by some major cramping. This was nothing new. Anyone who has been pregnant knows how uncomfortable sleeping can get, especially as the end draws near. This was not the first time I had been waken by contractions, so I told myself they meant nothing. But, I was not able to go back to sleep. What started as an almost constant cramping turned into measurable, and intense contractions. It was not until I absolutely knew I could not keep lying down that I woke Ray and told him we needed to start timing these. This was at about 2:30am. By 3:00, we were packing for the hospital and Ray was making arraignments for his back up to handle church services later that morning. Could this really be it? I was still a skeptic.
But the contractions continued and started becoming more intense and painful during the hour long drive to the hospital. This had to be real, but I was still hedging my excitement until I was checked out by the nurse. By the time we got there and I was first checked, around 4am at this point, I was 90% effaced and 3cm dilated. Contractions were textbook. Baby looked great. WOO HOO!!!!!!!! Bring on the baby!
I refused an IV at first, but agreed to a saline lock. Then they allowed me to labor in the tub a while. This was actually a big deal because I was a dangerous VBAC patient who's uterus could rupture killing me and the baby at any moment. (Cue sarcasm. That is how my doctor and the hospital saw things, but I knew better) The water and jets helped at first. But after 20 or so minutes, the jets annoyed me and I realized I was gonna have to change positions. Contractions were still intensifying and getting closer together. This was a good pain and a good sign. I asked the nurse what it was going to feel like or how I would know when to start pushing. She said, it will feel like your ass is going to either explode or fall off. I laughed. Little did I know... ;-)
Then, my OB comes in. He wants to break my water. I rebel at first but realize he could end this trial to VBAC at any time. When your water is broken or breaks, you are pretty much put on a timer. If baby is not born by a certain time, c-section. And, there is no going home if labor stops. Oh, and there is an increased chance of infection. And, of course, the contractions become much more intense and painful. But, as he put it, I had to play ball and I agreed. But I was exhausted and I knew if I was not able to rest, I was not going to have the umpf to push this baby out. I also requested an epidural because rest was not going to happen if the contractions were going to hurt more than they already did.
Doctor broke my water around 6ish in the morning. Now apparently, you need to have one bag of IV fluid in you before they will do the epidural. So she put me on the fastest drip she could to get that fluid in me. During that time, I tried to sit on the birthing ball. That did not help at all. Tried to get on hands and knees. That was also a big fat failure. Counter pressure and massages made it worse. The labor was progressing and I was starting to not handle the pain very well.
I was petrified of another epidural, but my oh my, when it went in just after 8 am, I wanted to marry that anesthesiologist. By this time I was fully effaced and around 5 cm. Ray needed to run to the store for a while and I needed to sleep. The nurse had me turn on my left side while Ray was out. She came back about 35 minutes later and checked me. I was at 6 cm. Doc came in about 5 minutes later and checked me again. I was at 7cm. WHERE IS MY HUSBAND???? They told me not to panic but to give him a call and tell him to head back when he can. I was starting to feel that pressure and knew it was not going to be long.
Now, up until this point, my doctor was STILL convinced that this was going to end in a c-section. He had the staff ready to take me to the OR at a moment's notice. That was, until this cervical check. The look on his face was so very funny. He was amazed and said, "Ok Sharon. I'm on board now. Let's get this thing done." Shew! Nancy Negative has left the building! My L & D nurse knew I was determined to have a VBAC and that my OB did not think it was going to happen. We had been joking the whole time about proving him wrong. Well, it looked like I was going to do just that. You NEVER tell a woman of Irish descent that she can't do something. Sheesh Doc.
Ray stumbles in and I am at 8 cm at 11:25 am. And the nurse was right. While I was not feeling the worst of the contractions, Oh my heavens...the pressure! My ass DID feel like it was going to fall off. She put me back on my side. Less than 15 minutes later, I just can not take the pressure anymore. I have to push and I don't care if there was cervix left. She checked me and.....TA DA....I am at 10 cm and ready to push.
Since baby was a tad bit high, they let me rest sitting up for a hair over 30 minutes. Then I started pushing with the nurse. Purple pushing on my back. When they start seeing the baby's head, full of dark hair, they call in my doctor. The pushing did not hurt. I didn't even feel that ring of fire they all talk about. What did hurt was all the "perineal support" they were giving me between pushes. But, I sucked it up because I knew it was for my own good.
Seriously? Pushing is hard work. Really hard. Like running a marathon hard work. And, I was getting tired. I was not opening my eyes and was having trouble catching my breath between contractions. When I did open my eyes after about 35 minutes of pushing, my doctor in a very calm and caring voice said he would like to use forceps to go ahead and get the baby out. He did not doubt that I could push the baby out, but saw I was getting tired and wanted to give me that option. I asked him how long it would take. He said baby would be out during the next contraction. I said do it.
He did not lie. It took a minute or two to get the forceps inserted and around the baby's head. Next contraction, he actually had to use very little pressure to help ease baby out due to my pushing along with it. I tore, but didn't feel it. 3rd degree and bilateral tears to be specific. I pushed baby out at such a force that her umbilical cord actually tore and shot blood across the room. No harm, they just had to clamp it right away, all was well. And just like her brother, she really did have a head full of hair and after that initial "what the hell just happened" cry, she was content and alert.
Placenta was delivered 3 minutes after the baby, no pitocin or help required. Doc stitched me up and finally, it was over. And, I am not exaggerating, the nurses, surgical assistant and doctor all did a VBAC celebratory cheer and dance. Everyone was excited and happy. I was smug with that "I told you so" attitude and my doctor was amazed. And humble. I ordered some food and Ray, myself and our newest addition were left alone to bond. It was a good day.
Happy Birthday Baby Morgan.
8lbs, 7oz
20 1/4 inches long
14 inch head
Perfect in every way.....
Morgan's Birth Story - Part One
********WARNING**********
What follows may seem to some to be a birth horror story. Read with caution. If I had read this story from someone else when I was pregnant, it would not have gone over well. Also, if you are not interested in medical stuff or hearing about reproductive parts, pass on this and the next two entries as well.
_________________________________
Picture this.... you have just given birth via c-section a few days ago to a very stubborn baby boy. He was breech and this is the only reason you are now healing from both birth and major abdominal surgery. During the surgery, the anesthesia did not properly work. While you could not feel the cutting, there was much MUCH more than just a bit of pressure as the baby was born and the doctors began to repair you from the inside-out.
You ask for more pain meds, the anesthesiologist pumps something into your spinal/epidural combo. Nothing. You ask again. She says sorry, I have nothing more to give. Baby is fine and with daddy over on the other side of the room getting checked out, weighed and cleaned up. To your right is the nurse who can only try and keep you calm and clean up the vomit from the pain. And to the left of your head is the thanks.for.no.help anesthesiologist. Finally, it is over. You are reunited with your new family in recovery and yet, all you want to do is cry. Not interested in the baby. Not interested in anything but just closing your eyes and FINALLY being somewhat comfortable.
I was in the hospital for 6 days with our first, Derrek. My OB came to do his rounds each day and he informed me that we were all set for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) if I so wanted to try for that next time around I was set. My thoughts....You better believe it. I will NEVER go through something like that again.
Fast forward through our son's first six months of life, and then a year long deployment of my husband to Iraq. He comes home and two months later, guess who is expecting again? I make my first OB appointment and my doctor answers all my current VBAC questions. And, for the first time, he just mentions in passing that I don't have a large pelvis. Hmmm.... Funny how that was never mentioned with my first pregnancy.
As each appointment comes, good ole' OB doctor dude continues to heighten the alert regarding the size of my pelvis and how this could make a vaginal birth extremely difficult or impossible. The following are comments and questions he asked me as I approached and entered my 3rd Trimester:
Now, here is the part that only a handful of people know. After my meltdown at that 37 week appointment, I started to work with my husband and my long distance doula friend to come up with a plan. A plan that would allow me to have the best chance at a successful VBAC since my doctor had zero confidence in my body, pelvis size in particular, to get the job done.
We talked about an unassisted home birth. I even ordered an emergency home birth kit. But nobody was fully on board with that plan. At the 39 week appointment, we scheduled an induction. Doctor would NOT allow me to go much past my due date. Since I had been in prodromal labor for almost a month and I was barely effaced and not even remotely dilated at 39 weeks, it was probably going to be a pitocin induction. If I was dilated at all when we got to the hospital, we were going to try a Foley catheter induction first. Doc was ready to go the distance with me, just so I could try. Even so, he had no confidence to the point that I started calling him Nancy Negative to his face. But he humored me.
We did not really tell anyone about the induction. At that point I was discouraged and yet on fire to try and get this baby out the way God created it to happen. I was a scared, angry and discouraged hormonal nut job. And, I was not even remotely interested in hearing any more suggestions, encouragement or ideas. I was tired of trying method after method to get labor started. Baby was very high, not engaging and while my uterus was contracting, it was doing nothing. This continued up until March 3rd. My due date was the 4th and the induction was scheduled for the 5th.
......end of part one.....
What follows may seem to some to be a birth horror story. Read with caution. If I had read this story from someone else when I was pregnant, it would not have gone over well. Also, if you are not interested in medical stuff or hearing about reproductive parts, pass on this and the next two entries as well.
_________________________________
Picture this.... you have just given birth via c-section a few days ago to a very stubborn baby boy. He was breech and this is the only reason you are now healing from both birth and major abdominal surgery. During the surgery, the anesthesia did not properly work. While you could not feel the cutting, there was much MUCH more than just a bit of pressure as the baby was born and the doctors began to repair you from the inside-out.
You ask for more pain meds, the anesthesiologist pumps something into your spinal/epidural combo. Nothing. You ask again. She says sorry, I have nothing more to give. Baby is fine and with daddy over on the other side of the room getting checked out, weighed and cleaned up. To your right is the nurse who can only try and keep you calm and clean up the vomit from the pain. And to the left of your head is the thanks.for.no.help anesthesiologist. Finally, it is over. You are reunited with your new family in recovery and yet, all you want to do is cry. Not interested in the baby. Not interested in anything but just closing your eyes and FINALLY being somewhat comfortable.
I was in the hospital for 6 days with our first, Derrek. My OB came to do his rounds each day and he informed me that we were all set for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) if I so wanted to try for that next time around I was set. My thoughts....You better believe it. I will NEVER go through something like that again.
Fast forward through our son's first six months of life, and then a year long deployment of my husband to Iraq. He comes home and two months later, guess who is expecting again? I make my first OB appointment and my doctor answers all my current VBAC questions. And, for the first time, he just mentions in passing that I don't have a large pelvis. Hmmm.... Funny how that was never mentioned with my first pregnancy.
As each appointment comes, good ole' OB doctor dude continues to heighten the alert regarding the size of my pelvis and how this could make a vaginal birth extremely difficult or impossible. The following are comments and questions he asked me as I approached and entered my 3rd Trimester:
- Are you sure you want to try this at all?
- When you end up with another c-section, just feel ok about it because it will not be the same experience you had before.
- It sounds to me like you want to run your own birth. You do understand that as a VBAC patient in a hospital, that is not going to happen?
- I have had a uterus rupture and lost the baby in a patient. I have also had 2 babies born with disabilities because the mom was determined not to have another c-section. Don't be one of them.
- I won't really mind if you want general anesthesia if another c-section is warranted. But I do not get to make that call and they are done so rarely in labor/delivery, they many not allow it.
- You can have your trial to VBAC all you want. But from my 27 years of experience as an OB, I can tell you with certainty that you will not be successful.
Now, here is the part that only a handful of people know. After my meltdown at that 37 week appointment, I started to work with my husband and my long distance doula friend to come up with a plan. A plan that would allow me to have the best chance at a successful VBAC since my doctor had zero confidence in my body, pelvis size in particular, to get the job done.
We talked about an unassisted home birth. I even ordered an emergency home birth kit. But nobody was fully on board with that plan. At the 39 week appointment, we scheduled an induction. Doctor would NOT allow me to go much past my due date. Since I had been in prodromal labor for almost a month and I was barely effaced and not even remotely dilated at 39 weeks, it was probably going to be a pitocin induction. If I was dilated at all when we got to the hospital, we were going to try a Foley catheter induction first. Doc was ready to go the distance with me, just so I could try. Even so, he had no confidence to the point that I started calling him Nancy Negative to his face. But he humored me.
We did not really tell anyone about the induction. At that point I was discouraged and yet on fire to try and get this baby out the way God created it to happen. I was a scared, angry and discouraged hormonal nut job. And, I was not even remotely interested in hearing any more suggestions, encouragement or ideas. I was tired of trying method after method to get labor started. Baby was very high, not engaging and while my uterus was contracting, it was doing nothing. This continued up until March 3rd. My due date was the 4th and the induction was scheduled for the 5th.
......end of part one.....
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Let The Nesting Commence....Part II
Picture this.....35 weeks 5 days pregnant. But who's counting?
-Baby bassinet put together? CHECK
-Baby clothes washed, in the drawers and ready to go? CHECK
-Hospital bags packed for Mommy, Daddy and not so Lil' D? CHECK
-Stalk mom about getting her bags packed to travel out here for baby? CHECK
-Replace necessary items such as infant car seat and bouncer that were attacked by mold and mildew in the basement of our old house? CHECK
-House clean, pantry stocked and ready to go food frozen in freezer? kinda-CHECK
-Diapers prepped, clean, organized and ready to go? CHECK
Ahhhh....the diaper stash! As I mentioned in the previous blog post, we did not start cloth diapering our son until he was a toddler. With baby #2, we plan to start as soon as we get home. As promised, here is the stash I have collected:
-Baby bassinet put together? CHECK
-Baby clothes washed, in the drawers and ready to go? CHECK
-Hospital bags packed for Mommy, Daddy and not so Lil' D? CHECK
-Stalk mom about getting her bags packed to travel out here for baby? CHECK
-Replace necessary items such as infant car seat and bouncer that were attacked by mold and mildew in the basement of our old house? CHECK
-House clean, pantry stocked and ready to go food frozen in freezer? kinda-CHECK
-Diapers prepped, clean, organized and ready to go? CHECK
Ahhhh....the diaper stash! As I mentioned in the previous blog post, we did not start cloth diapering our son until he was a toddler. With baby #2, we plan to start as soon as we get home. As promised, here is the stash I have collected:
*5 fitted diapers including 2 Thirsties Fab Fitted and 3 OsoCozy unbleached cotton
*13 prefolds including 6 generic Gerbers, 3 knickernappies unbleached cotton and 4 Thirsties Duo Hemp
*3 OsoCozy unbleached flats
*5 Snappi's
*3 (soon to be 5) Thirsties Duo Wrap covers
Collecting the stash has been fun. I already had the Gerber prefolds as they were used with Lil' D as spit up cloths. Oh boy, could that kid puke, just ask my cousin Debbie. I also had the Hemp prefolds because hemp is so so SO very absorbant. I used them as extra stuffing for Lil' D's diapers. The rest came from Nicole Dente, Cloth Diaper Expert. Take a look at her site to get the specifics on pretty much everything but the Gerber prefolds.
As for the Snappi's, if you don't know what they are for, they replace the pins in case I choose to use the flats/prefolds as fitteds and not just to lie inside the covers. I can't lie, pins on babies still freak me out a bit.
I made a point to try and purchase items that will be able to be used for the long haul. Or, as long as possible. Many one size cloth diapers are not ideal for newborns. And if this baby is anything like his or her big brother, skinny-mini is going to be the rule for a month or so. I do have several more covers, fitteds and all in ones for when the baby chunks up a bit. But, showing those may or may not give away the gender of the baby. Which, as of this point, I am not at freedom to divulge if said information has or has not to me been passed. ;-)
I made a point to try and purchase items that will be able to be used for the long haul. Or, as long as possible. Many one size cloth diapers are not ideal for newborns. And if this baby is anything like his or her big brother, skinny-mini is going to be the rule for a month or so. I do have several more covers, fitteds and all in ones for when the baby chunks up a bit. But, showing those may or may not give away the gender of the baby. Which, as of this point, I am not at freedom to divulge if said information has or has not to me been passed. ;-)
Once I am able to grab those last two covers (blue and green) from Nicole, my newborn stash will be complete. Don't think the purple means anything. Did you see them Ravens? Real men wear purple.
Probably some morning at 3am when baby is nursing, I'll be able to tell you what worked, what didn't and why. At least for our family. Each kid is different. Each family is different. Cloth diapers are not for everyone. Don't worry mom, we do have Newborn disposable diapers and pull ups for when you are here. Like I said, cloth diapering is not for everyone. But, it is for this family. At least right now.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
